dear bro OM, about dealing with kuffar or in fact with any person or group of people, there are three levels of interaction. The beginning one is mercy(rahma), next is seeking confidence/trust/protection from them (called bitanah), and final one is support/aggreement/assistance(mudhaharah/muwalat) of their way/cause/position/religion.

So not every acts/position of mercy/rahma is a bitanah, and not every bitanah is muwalaat, however note that, if the proper checks and limitations in relationships are not enforced, the early level of rahma progresses into bitanah overtime, and latter on continuous bitanah leads to muwalat and mudaharah.

Examples of rahma would be like accepting gifts, visiting a sick one, attending funerals, giving charity, lending neutral help, sending letters, keeping communication, general visitation, sitting with them, eating/drinking together, greeting, smiling, and neutral talk.

These are allowed with the kuffar who dont fight islam or muslims, or expell muslims from their homes etc. If these acts of rahma are done with muharib kuffars(those who fight muslims) without any motivation for da3wah, then it would not expell someone from the circle of islam, but it is a sign of the absence of eman (which is of a higher degree than islam)

Next, Example of bitanah would be when a kaffir would be trusted to the point where he is taken as a close aid, assigned to some important task related to the welfare of muslims, taken as a confident to whom secrets are revealed, as a leader/advisor/consultant/manager, as a person who is trusted with the muslim’s wealth, or when he is or they are taken as a protection for the muslims, when the latter is weak and the kuffar are stronger in comparision.

The bitanah is not allowed with neither a harbi nor a non harbi, but practicing it doesnot constitute kufr. However it is a dangerous step that would eventually lead to the muwalat of the kuffar, as through bitanah a person developes overtime good opinion of kuffar and for what they stand for..

The muwalat/mudahara is the situation when the kaffir’s religion is approved or supported, or their cause is aided. Like helping them in building churches, faciliating them in doing missionary works, aiding their armies and politicians.
It is this mudahara that is kufr, and exits the person out of the fold of islam, about which Allah severely warns.

This is what i learnt from studying the verses of the Quran regarding this subject, the actions/sayings of the Prophet[saws]and his companions, and the statements of the muffasireen, and im not a scholar nor someone who is correct always.

I request all my dear brothers and sisters who are far better than me, and especially the knowledgeable ones of them, to please Correct me if i had uttered anything wrong or said something in conflict with the proper sunni understanding of the deen regarding this subject.

Jazakumullahu khayra

Have the scholars talked about this natural love and divine love?

Just how it works bro.

I love my mother, she is christian. It is natural. If I have a wife who is christian, which is a bad idea, I could love her naturally as well. These are exceptions to the general rule.

Can you please write an article on “loving the kuffar”

I am getting confused on this issue. How can a Muslim man marry a non Muslim woman and love her, yet he is not allowed to ‘love kuffar’?

Firstly, Your question inspired me to do some research regarding marrying the kitaabiyah. Read it here: http://seekingilm.com/archives/277

Secondly, it is not permitted to marry a muhaaribah kitaabiyyah, as stated by Ibn ‘Abbas (radhiya Allahu Anhu).

Thirdly, the verse 5:5 is a rukhsah (dispensation) to the generality of walaa’ and marriage etc.

Fourthly, the correct opinion is that it is makruh to marry the kitaabi, as stated by ‘Umar and others.

That is my stance.

-Abul Layth